How Women Build Authentic Executive Presence: Insights from Leadership Coach Deborah Shames

“Have the courage to be unapologetically yourself.” – Deborah Shames

I first met Deborah many years ago while working as a hostess in a Miami restaurant. The moment she and her husband, David, walked in on a warm winter evening, she radiated warmth and charisma. Her high energy immediately drew me in, and as I led them to their table, it felt like we’d known each other for years.

Deborah was visiting for one of her well-known training sessions. Before leaving, she said something that stuck with me: “I have this feeling—I know I’m going to see you again.”

Sure enough, in 2024, our paths crossed again. During that reunion, I shared my vision for launching an editorial series featuring one-on-one conversations with extraordinary women, focusing on authenticity, leadership, and executive presence. Deborah was the perfect person to start with.

About Deborah Shames

Deborah began her career in broadcast journalism in the 1980s, working as a producer, on-air talent, and executive, navigating spaces where few women held leadership roles. Over time, she transitioned to coaching professionals, particularly women, to “own the room” with confidence, intention, and clarity.

Her philosophy on executive presence goes far beyond posture or polished appearances. For Deborah, it’s about authenticity, impact, and quieting the inner critic.

What has most shaped your perspective as a woman in leadership?

Seeing women still dress and act as if it were the 1950s: black jackets, white blouses, oversized shoulder pads—made me realize how male-oriented professional norms were.

I decided to show up authentically, both in how I presented myself and in how I led. I stopped trying to appeal to everyone and focused on making a genuine difference. The women who resonated with that authenticity were the ones I truly wanted to reach. That shift defined my leadership journey.

How can women find their voice and feel confident enough to speak up?

It starts by turning off that inner critic—the voice that says, “I’m not good enough” or “Why would anyone care what I have to say?” I coach women to focus on their audience, not their doubts. Even accomplished women struggle with imposter syndrome. Jessica Chastain once said she still sometimes feels unworthy despite her success.

The key is to remember: It’s not about you—it’s about the value your message brings to others.

Practical Tools:

• Structure your presentations. Have a clear intention for every talk.

• Limit to three key points. We don’t need to be “experts”—we need to be motivators, visionaries, and facilitators.

• Start small. Practice in low-pressure settings, give a toast, lead a team lunch, then build from there.

What’s the biggest mistake women make when building executive presence?

Trying to be perfect. So many women aim to be the “good girl”—they memorize scripts word-for-word, terrified of mistakes. That rigidity kills connection.

Instead, work from an outline, not a script. Think of it like a GPS: it guides you but allows flexibility. Speak conversationally and adapt to your audience.

Authenticity and adaptability win over polish every time.

“When you’re authentic, intentional, and focused on three points, you’ll succeed.”

That’s why I wrote Out Front: How Women Can Become Engaging, Memorable, and Fearless Speakers. The word fearless is everything.

What are the core elements of executive presence and leadership impact?

Executive presence comes down to language and behavior.

Body Language & Delivery

• Keep shoulders back, chin up, and gestures natural.

• Speak in short, clear sentences with a downward inflection to signal confidence.

• Avoid ending statements as questions (“I worked on the project?”). It undermines credibility.

• Eliminate filler words like just, you know, and right.

How you deliver your message matters two to three times more than the message itself.

Appearance & Style

• Avoid stark contrasts (black jacket, white blouse). They create distance.

• Choose monochromatic colors—especially blue, which communicates trust.

• Keep jewelry subtle and hair back to keep focus on your face.

What books, podcasts, or tools do you recommend for developing executive presence?

Confidence grows through preparation and practice.

We launched a three-book series called Briefly Speaking, featuring over 750 practical tips for quick confidence boosts before important meetings or presentations.

Each book: Prepare, Present, Communicate—is compact and portable, designed for real-world use. Topics include:

• Authentic voice & storytelling

• Handling stage fright

• Structuring your message

• Engaging your audience

People decide within 30 seconds whether someone is confident and worth listening to.

When you walk in prepared, that impression becomes your advantage.

What are your wardrobe essentials for executive presence?

Forget the old black jacket–white blouse combo. That’s outdated and overly masculine.

Instead, go monochromatic—my go-to is blue for its warmth and credibility. For big presentations, add a subtle pop of color (like red or lime green).

Jewelry should be understated unless it expresses your authentic self. The key is dressing in a way that feels true to you, not to someone else’s expectations.

Deborah’s Toolkit: Building Confidence at Work

1. Speak in short sentences. Especially when nervous.

2. Use the “three-message rule.” Stick to three key points.

3. Drop filler words. Ditch um, you know, just.

4. Claim the room early. The first 30 seconds set the tone.

5. Don’t memorize—rehearse. Focus on flow, not perfection. Think like a GPS system.

Deborah’s message is clear: authenticity is power. True executive presence isn’t about performance. it’s about connection, clarity, and courage.

Her advice is a call to every woman stepping into leadership: Be fearless. Be intentional. Be unapologetically yourself.

This interview was originally published on LinkedIn, where it received over 100 interactions from readers who connected with Deborah's leadership style. I invite you to read the full interview, join the conversation, and share it with your network. I hope you find it as inspiring as I did.